Through this scripture reading, and ultimately through life itself, I am reminded over again this week that you can’t really will anyone to do anything. We do all kinds of other things to try to make people do what we’d like them to do. We offer rewards or dole out punishments. We bribe, we cajole, we beg, we pout, we entice, or we demand. We try to either flatter or embarrass the other person into doing what we want. Nevertheless, even in extreme cases, when excessive force is involved to get someone to do something; remember that we still haven’t really changed the other person’s will.

Paul was trying some of these tricks himself. He reminded the recipients that they had made a promise to send a huge donation to the poor Christians at Jerusalem, those saints he talks about earlier in this letter. He warned them of how embarrassing it might be if he showed up with other Christians involved in this mission and found out that their money wasn’t ready yet. He gave them a chance to make good on their promise so that it would look like a voluntary gift - rather than extortion. It makes me wonder what prodded him to make these kinds of statements. Were they super-stingy here before? Had they made a big case about how the church in Jerusalem was misappropriating the funds? Did they like to brag about giving big, and then show no follow through? Who knows?

We don’t have any records, financial or otherwise, to go on. We don’t know if any of Paul’s arguments worked. We don’t know if they felt the sting in Paul’s words turn to guilt and an inability to make good on their promises or if they heard in Paul’s letter the inspiration to do better. Paul’s main point is inspiring – God loves a cheerful, generous giver – but unfortunately some of the language that he uses to get there sounds a lot like put-downs to me.

I can understand Paul’s struggle with what to say in trying to help people grow and make better decisions as followers of Jesus. I’m involved in those kinds of conversations myself just about every day – in everything from parenting, to family relationships, to getting the Session running smoothly and for the benefit of the church. How much do you admonish people to do their best, to make good on their promises, and to strive to do better? And then how much do you accept people as they are, flaws and all, knowing that the most successful changes in behavior come when a person makes those changes for themselves? It’s a balancing act that can easily be tipped in either direction – either expecting too much or expecting too little. But no matter what I say or don’t say, there’s no way for me to make people do exactly what I want them to do, not my children, not my spouse, not my parents, not any single member of this church. The only person I really have the power to change is me. That statement is both incredibly frustrating and incredibly freeing at the same time.

I don’t know about you, but in my imagination, it would be heavenly to be able to wave my magic wand or say the magic word and have people do whatever I would like them to do. A flick of the wand, and I get to sleep in on Sunday morning and be served a late breakfast in bed. A magic word and every Session member would agree with my point of view. In the real world, it isn’t quite happening that way. At times, I feel the deep frustration and all too human anxiety of not being understood, of not having someone who can read my mind and soothe me with the exact words I want to hear at the end of the day. Some days, that desire to bend people to my will is overwhelming. I want to be right. I want to be loved. I want to be treated like the queen of my castle. But that desire usually doesn’t last too long, for I am reminded that I really do appreciate sharing this world with other people whose wills and opinions and desires are different from my own. Though being queen for a day every once in awhile sounds terrific, being waited on at the expense of others’ freedom sounds like it would get old fast.

So how do we move from wanting what we want when we want it to being that generous giver so loved by God? How do we let go of our desire for control and become the one who gives, not reluctantly or under compulsion, but cheerfully, joyfully sharing what we have with others? Paul reminds us that our generosity will be rewarded, but our stinginess will not be. He tells us this through a natural example: The one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly; but the one who sows bountifully will reap bountifully. Generosity, both of our resources and of our spirit, allows us to be enriched. This is no “prosperity gospel” that says that the rich who believe in Jesus will get richer while the poor must have had it coming. Remember that Paul’s argument – good points or bad – makes it clear that God is the provider of ministry – both to us and through us.

I’m making my confession today. I’m not always the cheerful giver I’d like to be. I’d like to say that I’m always giving, of my money, my time, my patience, and my love for my fellow human beings, but it would be stretching the truth just a little bit. At times, I want to keep more of those things for myself. I don’t want to hear what Paul’s deeper message is here. I don’t want to be tested in my obedience to Jesus Christ around every turn. Sometimes it feels as though there’s only so much of me I can give away, and yet God wants us to give ourselves wholly and completely to this life that we’ve been given. I know, because I’ve experienced it, that giving myself completely always has that boomerang effect of more coming back to me than I ever thought I gave away – and still it’s hard to do. It takes trust. We must trust God enough to cheerfully, joyfully let go of even those things that matter most to us. What we give out makes a difference, both to other people and to God.

But it really isn’t about the side of the parable that says if we sow bountifully, we will get something in return. Being a quid pro quo giver isn’t the same as being a generous giver. Giving out of obligation doesn’t really work. Paul ultimately knew that in writing this letter. He couldn’t make them give, but even so, he’d try a little arm twisting in the process. There was a chance that he would come into town to pick up this generous donation they had promised and there would be nothing in the plate. For all the reasons people do give, there are another hundred excuses for why people don’t give. Paul wanted to let them know that those excuses were not good with him.

Surveys have been done repeatedly in the Presbyterian Church and other donation based organizations about what exactly motivates people to give, and those who give primarily out of duty, obligation, or compulsion are not the most generous givers. They give, but their giving is proportionally low. Though you may expect it to be the case, whether one’s income is high or low really doesn’t matter when it comes to how generous a person is going to be. You can have a poor miser or a rich philanthropist as well as the opposite. What makes a generous giver is that trust in God. Generous givers cite “a sense of gratitude for God’s love and goodness” as playing the biggest part in why they give. The second most chosen reason among generous givers is that they give because they “want to contribute to God’s work in the world.” (Why Presbyterians Give, on www.pcusa.org)

But in Paul’s fundraising letter, much like in our annual efforts to raise money for the church, the Stewardship Committee is going to pull out all the possible reasons for giving because it is for your own spiritual good to be a part of this ministry. If you’ll be embarrassed by not giving, give. If you want the leaders of this church to boast about you, give. If you want to be blessed in return, give. If you know how much the church needs your contribution, give. If you have a program or ministry of this church you want to see continue, give. If you want to be contributing to God’s work in the world, give. If you are reminded that God is good, and you are grateful, give.

Whether it’s to raise money for the poor Christians in Jerusalem, or to support the mission and ministry of First Presbyterian Church, Oak Ridge also doesn’t matter. Giving to ministry, whatever ministry it is, is what’s important. We won’t always get what we want. My magic wand doesn’t work, and neither does yours. This week I remembered a saying I’d read in one of Robert Fulghum’s books some time ago, “You can’t get the exact love you want, only the love someone else can give.” We need to learn to treasure that gift – the imperfect gift given out of someone else’s love and devotion – more than expecting exactly what we want from someone else. What’s true in that statement about love is also true of the church. Neither the giver, nor the recipient has full control over what happens with the gift. We may not get the exact church we want; we get the church that each and every member is able to give. Amazingly, it is that love given without expectation, it is that church created out of our willingness to give of our time and our money, that comes from each and every one of us that is God’s creation. Give, not because you have to, but because it is your joy.

Amen.