I do remember though - some of the rules about neighborhood etiquette that I was taught. Don't go in someone else's house uninvited. It's not polite to ask to be invited to their pool. Ask permission to go into someone else's house so your parents won't have a conniption about where you are later. Outside is almost always a good place for kids to be!

These were reasonable expectations. I have enforced some of the same rules now myself. Like any Mom, I want to know where my kids are. But some of what I grew up with has changed over time. The house that I grew up in was known as the house with the rules. My friends knew it that way, and like any kid, I was embarrassed that my parents were so strict and nerdy I guess.

Today, I feel absolutely blessed to live right where we live in Oak Ridge. There are almost 15 kids total just on our little cul-de-sac, and it warms my heart to see those kids doing exactly what I did growing up - riding their bikes in the street, looking for someone to play with on Saturday afternoons, and believe it or not, trying to sled ride down the neighbor's hill whenever we have a snow day. And contrary to my imaginings as a child, I probably have become the kooky mother with all the rules.

But even as the kooky rule Mom, what I hope has happened at 107 Willow Lane is that our house becomes known as a house that always has an open invitation. My polite upbringing still reminds me to check in first, to call, or knock, or make provisions about parents knowing where their children are. But were I to show you a snapshot of English family home life - I hope it would be with an open door, or perhaps with a sign in our yard announcing, "Y'all come."

Case in point - two weekends ago when we were hosting Good News Partners kids, we thought it would be a good idea to have a neighborhood barbecue, to invite our friends with kids to come over so that we'd have a houseful of companions for our Chicago guests. Not only did those friends we invited show up; in addition, so did a few other neighborhood kids, and some additional extended family from next door, and then another couple they were friends with from work. I bet we ended up with more than 30 people having dinner in our carport - some of whom just showed up because they knew we were having a party. It reminds me of the story of the loaves and fishes - though we served ribs and potato salad. Amazingly, the ribs held out, and there were enough ribs left over for a 17 year old boy's after school snack the following week - so I can tell you, God does provide!

When I read Paul's letter to the Romans, I hear him talking about the Christian family rules. He was that kooky letter writing rule guy. But Paul's rules are also about what it takes to make a community livable, and dare I say, fun. He talks about both good rules and bad rules. Good rules are things like: welcome other people - even when they're different; keep the guest list long; leave judgment to God; use your energy to get along rather than to criticize; share the love of God especially at the table; and what you believe - do. The bad rules were the ones he learned in his former life among the Pharisees. Expect uniformity. Reject those who eat weird things, or who celebrate the wrong holidays, or who hold opinions that differ from your own. Paul says instead, "Forget about deciding what's right for each other. Here's what you need to be concerned about: that you don't get in the way of someone else, making life more difficult than it already is. I'm convinced - and Jesus convinced me - that everything as it is in itself is holy."

What Paul helps us to imagine is a "Y'all come" kind of church. It's not our job to determine the guest list or make corrections or teach manners. Those things are God's job. Welcoming our brothers and sisters in Christ is our job. Really, it's all we have to do. But putting aside our personal tastes and opinions is often difficult. Too often we yearn to create communities of the like-minded, whether that's in our neighborhood, our church, or beyond. It is interesting to me that in this year's political conventions - both sides have said enough to the "we all must think alike" rhetoric. Even as they passionately espouse different ideas, both the Republican and the Democratic presidential nominees averred that it was high time to lay aside party politics and concentrate on the good of the people. That may be the best thing either party has said, but it's certainly not an easy thing to do, to lay aside the pride of being right or that feeling of superiority that goes along with winning. Since one of them will eventually be our next President, I hope they both mean it.

For the church it won't be enough to put a welcome sign on the front entrance. It won't be enough to sing "Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love." We've got to put our actions behind what our mouths say. This chapter ends with Paul saying, "If the way you live isn't consistent with what you believe, then it's wrong." We have to take our understanding of welcome the next step. "Eventually," Paul says, "we're all going to end up kneeling side by side in the place of judgment, facing God." We have our own hands full just taking care of our own lives - let alone meddling in the lives of others.

This doesn't discount the importance of living a good life or following the rules that make a community joyful. Paul won't let us off the hook in that regard. What it does mean is that people are always, always more important than policy or preferences. All are invited to God's table, and yes, that even means the creepy middle school boy with the pool, and that means sharing barbecue ribs with all our guests whether they had an official invitation or not.

What I also remember about growing up on Horserock Hill was that my parents never let me be mean to anyone, not in word, not in deed, not in anything. Kindness surpassed even politeness in my family's home. Sometimes that kindness felt like an intrusion when I wanted to spend time with my Dad and a neighborhood kid spoiled it by wanting to watch him work on the old GTO. Sometimes it seemed like a heavy burden to bear when it would have been easier to feel smarter or more privileged than someone else. Now I'm grateful to have a kind family myself. My rules about not being mean are just as strict. That'll get you into more trouble in my house than just about anything else. Here at Jesus' table - the only rule is "Y'all come." Come and be satisfied. Come and be healed. Come and be accepted - just as you are. Come with the expectation that God loves you because it's true. God loves you, and the person next to you, and the person in front of you, and the person behind you - thus the perfect Southern contraction - God loves y'all. All of you are persons for whom Christ has died. Who are we to say otherwise?

Amen.