As a kid, I took dance lessons from Keckley studios. It was a husband and wife team. She did most of the dance work and he taught the tumbling and gymnastics. I loved the dance part, jazz especially, but the tumbling part, I could take or leave it. My cartwheels weren’t very straight, and flexibility was never my strong suit.

I have a particular memory about one time that my mother came to pick me up from said lessons. It was near the end of class, the part where they moved to the mats for tumbling. She came in to find me sitting on the bench next to the soda machine. Of course she wondered why I was sitting there. I pointed to the mats so that she could get a good look at what they were doing. It was some sort of tumble, flip combo, and at the end Mr. Keckley grabbed each student by the ankles swinging them in a 360 move over his head. It was one of those Olympic pairs ice skating type things where the audience is sure to either gasp or applaud after. At that point, I looked back at my mother and said, “I don’t want to do THAT.”

What I also remember about that instance is the sheer amount of convincing that my friends, that Mr.Keckley, that other Moms tried in order to get me to go airborne. I don’t know how many times I had to say “No, I’m not doing it.” However, I do remember that my mother was OK with it. She didn’t make me get back in the tumbling line. In fact, in the car afterwards she told me that she was very pleased with me for not going along with the crowd when I was uncomfortable.

Looking back, there was a parental switch that happened in that moment which is probably why I still remember it. In the early years with children, parents try so very hard to get their children to listen, and though we don’t use the word so much anymore, we want children to be obedient, to question little and do pretty much the things adults with authority tell them to do. “No” is not a word you want to hear from your two-year-old, but boy, do they like to say it, and often! In the early years, parents try very hard to change that, and by the time children are ready for school, most of them are ready to pay attention at least in small doses, to do what is asked of them, and to respect adults who play authoritative roles in their lives.

But there comes a point when blind obedience no longer makes sense. Most parents expect that a time will come for their children to mature and to be able to differentiate when it is appropriate and right to go along with the teacher or other responsible adult, and when it’s best to say “no.” The pressure we get from parents, and teachers, and friends to go along with the crowd is enormous, and that pressure gets multiplied a hundred-fold by the advertisers who pay the big bucks to mold us into obedient consumers that only know how to say, “yes.” We live in a “yes” culture, and it comes so naturally that we rarely ever step back to look at just how insidious it is. We learn very quickly and very well how to say “yes” so we won’t make any waves or ruffle any feathers. We learn it for school, we take it with us to work, we bring it to church, and we pass this condition unknowingly along, generation after generation when we teach our kids how to “behave.” But our “yes” doesn’t mean much when we haven’t learned it’s true opposite. Perhaps we have learned the coward’s ways of saying “no.” The first one I know of is the “bully’s way.” The bully aggressively demands that his way is the best way, and by getting his way, his “no” has to become everyone else’s yes. The other coward’s way of saying “no” is to passively fail to comply with the rules, hoping never to be noticed in the process. This does little more than delays one’s conformity to later.

It takes a lot of maturity to get good at saying, “No,” for tremendous power can be found in saying “no” well. Jesus knew that, and so did the devil. The devil loves, LOVES for us to say, “yes,” and that’s whether it’s a bold “yes” or a “maybe yes” or a timid, compliant “yes.” I don’t know if you’ve found it to be true, but it is much, much easier to say “yes” than “no.” When I find myself doing something I really didn’t want to do, it’s probably because I didn’t listen to my true voice telling me that I needed to say “no.” Other people don’t like to hear us say “no” to their wishes and wants, and we’ve been taught, very well I might add, that we shouldn’t disappoint anyone else, even at the expense of our own personal integrity.

Jesus blows that theory out of the water in this story of temptation by the evil one. Jesus has this amazing ability to maintain his own personal integrity even in the most brutal of circumstances. He’s been fasting and praying, alone in the wilderness for forty days. The first test is pretty straightforward. “Since you are the Son of God, command this stone to become a loaf of bread.” Hunger is certainly a physical motivator. When a person is hungry, starving levels of hungry, it’s easy to understand how they might choose to go against their own principles to obtain a loaf of bread. I’d be tempted to steal a loaf of bread if I were hungry, and I’d probably actually do it if my kids were hungry. Jesus had the power to make his own provisions, to eat whenever he wanted. He told the devil, “No.”

The second temptation is about power. “Bow down and worship me, “the devil says, “and you will have all glory, all authority in every kingdom of the world.” It is a tempting offer. Many, many people have turned to greed, or anger, or violence in order to obtain far less than that in the way of power and glory. Jesus answers, “no.”

The third temptation is about protection, security. “Since you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from the pinnacle of the temple and God will command his angels concerning you, to protect you.” We crave safety. It’s part of the reason that we say “yes” all the time. It makes us feel safe from the criticism of others when we can agree. It makes us feel secure to have things around us. Having things is a way of believing that God really does love us and wants us to be happy. Knowing absolutely God’s love for us and protection of us is totally a tempting offer. That assuredness of God’s favor is something you really can’t buy. And Jesus said, “No.”

For provisions, for power, for protection, for the things we really, really need as human beings, the devil makes his offers and Jesus says, “No.” That demonstrates his spiritual ability to me almost more than anything else. Yes, he healed and taught God’s Word. Yes, he said and did amazing things. Being able to clearly and distinctly say “no” is one of them. His absolute integrity to who he was and to honoring who God is amazes me. The spiritual giants are like that. They act with remarkable clarity and purpose in all that they do.

Now, I dare say that this is a dangerous sermon for me to preach. I like it when people say “yes.” I’m thrilled when people say “yes” to serving on Session, teaching Sunday school, calling for the prayer chain, you name it. We hosted Presbytery extraordinarily well yesterday because a whole bunch of people said “yes” to all the preparations we had to do ahead of time and then to working at the church on their Saturday as well. The Christian culture cultivates people who are nice, who frequently say “yes” when they are asked for help. I generally think this is a good thing. We like it when people are happy, in fact, we like it so much that we will sometimes sacrifice our other priorities in order to achieve a greater sense of togetherness. That’s when we get in trouble and begin to end up with too many “yes’s” and not enough “no’s.” God only knows, we will lose our vision and our purpose if we try to accommodate absolutely everyone’s wishes and desires into any given plan. Sometimes we just can’t make everyone happy and accomplish our set mission and ministry goals at the same time.

What I’d like for us to imagine is a church culture that get’s as good at its “No” as it is at its “Yes.” Sadly there are churches out there in which everything seems to be a no, or at least a no-no. The “don’t do this, don’t be that” kind of churches. That’s not the kind of “No” that I mean, even though I do think our ability to say “no” has a lot to do with how we practice discipline in our community together. Modeling Jesus, it’s important to be able to say no when we are tempted to sinful self-indulgences or are confronted by the very presence of evil. It’s important to pay attention when we are feeling pressured or uncomfortable and let our discomfort be known. It is important to say “no” at least some of the time so that we open a door for someone new to say “yes.” The wilderness time is a time of purification when we strip away all the non-essentials, saying no to everything, so that we will know exactly how to say “yes” to God.

Knowingly, we are still a little suspicious of those persons who have the audacity to say “no” without force and without fear. But in our own defense, we are taught to deny that part of ourselves, beginning with the most heartfelt “no’s” of our two-year-old selves. That inner two-year-old has spiritual strength and courage that most of us lose somewhere along the way. The pressure is just too great. We get our “no” trained out of us – well, except for Jesus. Jesus can help us resist the temptations all around us – for more stuff than we don’t need, for more control than we have to have, and for the types of security that don’t really make us any safer.

The truth is that parents, churches, schools, workplaces have much to gain from compliant subjects who are afraid of ever saying “no.” It’s rare to ever hear someone teach children, volunteers, students, or employees the power of “no.” It’s real. It calls us all to account for something if we have to be honest, clear, and forthright when deciding if we really mean no or yes. Jesus’ no was about the greatest no of all time. He said a flat out no to the face of evil whenever and wherever he encountered it. How else could he have truly conquered fear and death?

Amen.